Who we choose to associate with is one of our best insurance policies.

 When I was in my late 20s and my dad was in his early 60s, during a routine physical the doctor noticed an enlarged prostate and sent him to a urologist for a biopsy.  He dutifully had it done and a few days later went to the scheduled appointment for the findings.

At the time, we milked two Guernsey cows by hand for family milk.  I milked one while he milked the other; he was late getting back from the doctor appointment so I went ahead and milked his.  I wasn't quite finished when a man walked into the barn.  As I looked out from behind the cow, I didn't recognize him for a moment.  I've never forgotten that temporary inability to recognize my own dad.  He'd aged 20 years in an afternoon.

 "Cancer."  The big "C."  It was a death notice.  The end.  Kaput.  He lived another couple of years, but they were fraught with a doomsday mentality.  He died young, at 66; I was only 31.  I still miss him terribly.  What I really miss is that my children did not have the privilege of knowing him.  Friends surrounded us "we're praying for you" and that was nice, but they, like I, agreed with the doctor that this was a life-ending diagnosis.  Every good time had a bit of tension and dread buried behind the laughter and smiles.  Life was fraught with an underlying wondering:  "how long will he survive?"

 As a result of that life story, I haven't been to a doctor but once (except for stitches or tooth issues) since my physical to attend college.  I have no idea how I'd respond to a prognosis like that.  I'd love to think I'd double down and fight it; but I may just give up.

 So what is my insurance policy?  It's associating with people who don't view bad prognoses as death sentences.  Yes, I eat extremely well, try to forgive everyone and not hold any grudges, stay excited about life and goals, get lots of exercise and sunshine, sleep and water.  But I also cultivate friendships with upbeat, can-do people who have a "let's win" attitude.

 Dr. Sina McCullough, my co-author of BEYOND LABELS and I were talking last week about friends and family who accept sickness as a label.  "I'm sick and I can't help it" is more common than "I'm sick and it's my fault so let's make the changes necessary for me to get well."  She told me about folks whose underlying causes of physical illness were unresolved emotional, relational and spiritual trauma.

 When we associate with people who eat Twinkies for breakfast and assume the doctor will fix whatever ails them, these are folks who foster dependency on the medical establishment's labels for us.  These are folks who nurture victimhood.  Goodness, the placebo effect shows just how powerful the psychological-physical relationship is.  If it's that powerful, we need to associate with people whose intrepidity is contagious.  We need to associate with people who will not take our disease or sickness label like a death sentence, but will instead steer us to protocols and procedures and mindsets that will heal.  Sina said she's seen cancer patients let go of vengeance, for example, and see their cancer dissipate in a couple of days.

 Most of us can't get to resolution by ourselves.  We need confidantes, or friends, or coaches, or counselors.  It starts with our choice of association and our commitment to invest in healthy associations.  To me, a friend like Sina is far more valuable than an insurance policy; it's life itself.

 With that in mind, let me encourage you to think about attending what I'm calling our TWO DAYS OF TRUTH gathering here at Polyface June 18-19.  If that one doesn't suit, pick another of the SEVEN gatherings we're hosting here at the farm this summer.  The whole goal is to offer a platform of association for folks with similar-minded positive attitudes in a day of vengeance, cancel culture, negativity, emotional extortion and tyrannical government edicts.  We all need a breath of tribal uplifting and these provide that opportunity.  Click on www.polyfacefarms.com for the gatherings; pick one; make friends; live happy and healthy.

 What are you doing to combat being labeled?